How To Financially Support Your Adult Children, Without Enabling Them
Our children are going to face a very different world than we have. The shift may be as big as the one seen after WWII. Not only will this change our children’s spending habits, it might change the face of America in years to come. Let’s start by discussing some developing trends.
The High Cost of Urban Life
Many in the next generation are drawn to cities. Cities provide experiences—access to culture, nightlife and a walkable lifestyle. But this desire is colliding with a harsh reality: cities are becoming unaffordable.
Due to regulatory red tape and infrastructure limits, many urban centers (especially in the Northeast and West) are not building enough housing. What’s being built often caters only to the highest income brackets. This will force hard choices for our children—whether to sacrifice lifestyle, become a life-long renter, or forgo retirement savings to make ends meet.
Delayed Parenthood, Earlier Pressure
Another quiet shift is happening: people are having children later in life. While there’s nothing wrong with starting a family in your mid-to-late 30s, it creates a compressed financial window. Imagine trying to pay for college while saving for retirement at the same time.
This dynamic will not only affect their planning, but it could also delay their ability to support you as you age. And in households without children, the question becomes: who will provide care or support down the line?
Fewer Births, More Complexity
The U.S. birth rate has fallen below replacement level. With fewer working-age adults, we may face labor shortages, increased reliance on immigration, and changes to entitlement programs like Social Security.
You may not be able to “fix” these issues, but awareness helps. What you can do is prepare your family to think long-term, and differently, about their money, lifestyle, and choices. As parents of adult children, your job isn’t to control or bail them out. It’s to share perspective.
You’ve seen cycles rise and fall. You’ve weathered recessions, real estate booms, inflation surges, and policy pivots. Now’s the time to offer your experience, not as a command, but as quiet counsel.
How to Start These Conversations
- Talk estate planning early . Don't wait for a crisis to begin organizing your affairs.
- Discuss housing realistically. Let your kids know that where they live impacts their long-term security.
- Model adaptability. Show that letting go of properties or routines can actually be a smart next step.
- Ask better questions. Instead of giving advice, ask, "what's your plan if X changes?" or "How are you preparing for. . . ?"
These are not just conversations, they are gifts of insight that ripple across generations.
Want more insight? Check out our podcast on this issue. (This is actually part II. Be sure to watch part I!)
📺Watch on YouTube: HERE